


Hold Me Close (I Love You More than You Know)

by oppressa



Category: The Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Community: 10_prompts, F/M, Ficlet Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:46:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1708787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oppressa/pseuds/oppressa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten ficlets written for a prompt challenge: 7 canon-compliant, 2 AUs, 1 crossover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me Close (I Love You More than You Know)

01\. _Serenity_

She sees him every day but never like this, stripped of his hoodie, tank and the baggy jeans that hang off his body. The black curlicues of his tattoos are stark against his skin.

His hand practically spans her side as he moves it down, resting on her hips. He strokes her hair, holds her close, as he's done before, like he can't go far wrong with that.

“Relax.” She says. “I realise it's been some time.” He laughs, obviously enjoys the pressure.

She gets the impression that, all jokes aside, Holder thinks he's a good lay. She can't wait to find out it isn't misplaced confidence.

“You don't talk.” She murmurs, “I thought you always talked.”

“So what, I gotta make conversation? Want me to tell you how good you feel, Linden?” He dodges her hand on his mouth, lowers it to her ear. “Or 'bout how you been a fuckin' tease, how I had to be content with just checkin' out your tight little ass when you weren't looking for so long...”

“Yeah,” She says, slapping his own bony backside. “On second thoughts, just shut up and fuck me.”

He pulls her up sharp, thrusts hard against her thigh. “Anything you want, boss.”

 

02\. _First Impression_

She's older. Experienced. Cold. Hot. Something about the ice-queen type just does it for him. She doesn't like what she sees, though, that much is pretty obvious. Well, he'll apologise for messing up her desk, but he won't apologise for himself.

There's an engagement ring on the pale hand on the wheel. He tries to guess her age. Thirty six, thirty seven, thirty eight maybe. At the most.

She seems unsurprised he was in UC. He wonders if she's met many former Narcs, wonders if she knows he was a junkie. But maybe she's just seen it all before. Running dry, he tries to find out why she's leaving while acting like he really doesn't care. It's a good thing, far as he's concerned. He didn't ask to be put in with a partner, especially one that's constantly wrong-footing him, contradicts every thing he says as if he hasn't any experience at all. (He wouldn't know anything about being a tweaker now, no ma'am.)

He's pissed at this point so he does his best to get on her nerves in response, _whine whine whine_.

“In situations like this,” She says with an air of serene patience, “I like to ask myself, what would Jesus do?”

Oh, good one, so she did observe something about him. Maybe Detective Linden is more curious than she lets on.

 

03\. _Last Goodbye_

All too soon the wood is filled with the sound of sirens, flashing lights, and then the cars arrive, doors slamming.

“Sarah.” He says, voice soft like when he apologises and means it. She feels his fingers on her cheek, flinching off because she's so cold. “Let me do the talking, okay? Please, Sarah?”

She swallows, and nods. Fine. Let him try. She leans herself against the tree, looking up, up, up into the branches. He comes back three or four minutes later, not at ease with whatever he said at all.

“You're off the hook for now. But you gotta go with them.”

“You coming?” She tightens her fingers around his wrist.

“Yeah.”

“All right.”

He helps her up, but the uniformed officers are already coming to intercept them.

“Yo ease off." He snarls, shoving at someone. “I got her.”

They take her arms and attempt to steer her away from him.

“Sarah, no wait, let her go, you don't understand–”

She breaks his hold herself, not wanting this to escalate, for his protectiveness to be misconstrued. If he falls under suspicion too then it's over, for both of them.

He calls after her one more time, but she doesn't look around to see him being stopped.

As she feared, the last thing she hears before the car starts is Reddick telling him he's not helping himself. She watches them argue though the glass, sees Holder break off, fuming. Good. She raises her hand, presses her finger tips against the window. It's his turn to look away then, covering his eyes with a shaking hand. She faces front as the lights turn on again and they pull away.

 

04\. _Underappreciated_ – AU, Linden came from county.

“Oh, Detective Holder? I'm Linden, so nice to meet you. Sorry, I wasn't expecting–”

“Don't trip.” He interrupts, not feeling like being all polite right now. “I'm leaving.”

“Of course.” She says. “Didn't mean to intrude...anyway, I'll- I'll wait outside.”

She hides it well, but he knows what she's thinking. How someone this unhealthy-looking was managing to hold down a job in Homicide. Still, her smile is the nicest he's seen around here in a long time. He doesn't get many directed at him any more. He feels embarrassed, not sure if it's because she's pretty or because he's being a douche.

“Nah, it's my bad.” He waves his hand. “Come in.”

“So, where are you going? Surely you're too young to be _going_ going, aren't you?”

“Back to LA. Flight's tonight.”

She nods, puts down her box. She's got a picture in there of herself with a small boy, maybe Davy's age. Single mom, he knows immediately. Looks like the kind that deals on her own.

Her eyes fall across his files and her face changes, goes hard, but there's also a spark of excitement.

“It ain't no picnic, Linden.”

“I know that, sir.”

Whoa, did she just call him sir? He gives her a look to see if she's for real. Sounded like it. Fact is it made his dick twitch, after months of hardly feeling a thing.

He has a vision of staying here, working with her. Teaching her how to Van Damme doors and shit. She'd appreciate.

No, but really. Suddenly he's not so glad to be getting out of this place, after all.

 

05\. _Disappointed_ – AU, Holder knew about the photo.

Jesus, is she ever going to get on that plane? He honestly thought she'd gone this time, but no, she found out somehow, she was just waiting to confront him. She's got balls, his ex-partner, half his height but she got his own gun out of its holster and backed him against the alley wall with the muzzle pressed against his chest.

“You're unbelievable.” She whisper-screams, barely in control of her voice. “You lied. You _lied_.”

“Yeah? How were you gonna prove Richmond did it?” He asks, and she whacks him across the jaw with the handle, so hard he has to sit down on his ass. _Fuck_ , Linden.

“Oh, don't worry, you convinced everyone. Royce shot him, you son of a bitch! God, don't you have any decency at all?” She crouches down in front of him, presses her hand over his heart, finding the cold ridge of the shield he wears around his neck there instead.

“The bastard deserved it, all right?” He says, shoving her touch away. “Look, go to Sonoma. Have a nice life. Leave me to deal with this.”

“You bet I won't.” She stands up, and his eyes don't follow her. “We'll see how long it takes for some of the shine to come off that badge.”

 

06\. _Falling in love again_

He knows more about her history than she does his. He has encountered Jack's father, Rick, Cody, Skinner. She's only ever met Caroline, a nice girl, too nice, if he thinks he can keep that unspoiled then good luck to him.

She knew Skinner had a wife and child, but he was the one cheating, then as well as now. Perhaps she slept around in the academy, before she had Jack. None of that really meant anything.

Holder knows she went nuts one time, and it didn't ever bother him. He had her back when she was shut in another white-walled prison. Carlson must've been so pissed, but someone like that could never understand sticking by your partner above sucking up to the brass.

She knows he spun out of control, thinking she'd never forgive him, and considered walking into the oncoming lights of a driver who wouldn't put the brakes on in time.

He knew she was scared out her mind in that car, with the pastor, but that the only way to save her was to trust she knew what she was doing.

She knows her wise-ass partner is scarred, in a way he doesn't ever believe can heal. She knows he _cares_ , about more than just the case, and in the end, she cares for him too, very much.

 

07\. _Eternity_ – Daemon AU (I got their daemon's names from [this](http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/4781/#.U5l7xatwaP8) generator, it's fun! Holder's is a hyena and Linden's is an eagle-like sea bird, Osprey maybe...)

Some people don't know what to make of Sephronia when they meet Holder, she's so scruffy and thin and just explodes with wildly inappropriate laughter. They figure he'd be more criminal than police with a daemon like that. But Sarah and Adrastos take to them, because they're different too.

Despite that, the female creature often slinks around her lanky human's legs at first, snapping at Dras if he swoops too close.

“Ya making us look bad, Seph.” Holder says, shooting a furtive glance at Sarah. “The big bird won't hurt you.”

“No, don't worry.” She confirms. “He's a good boy.”

Not always. His claws dig into her skin for that, catching on her shoulder as he dives down from flight. They were sixteen when he settled – he was being a bird more and more, soaring out over the water in his beautiful eagle form and one day she knew he wouldn't change again.

Seph, as he calls her, is an earthier reflection of Holder's soul. At home she lays on him like a dog while they're on the laptop, looking up at Sarah with her hungry eyes, almost as if she wants her to touch – but no, that isn't right. It would be a violation, entirely unprofessional.

Every time it happens though, she guiltily wants to have that sensation, one of ultimate trust, wrong as it might be. The emotional crisis inside her gets to the point where it's all she can do not to grab her coat and tell them _We have to go_.

This latest time Dras is heavy in her hands as they cross the parking lot afterwards, sensing her distress. They are loners by nature, un-used to forming a bond like this with another pair they haven't even known that long.

“They love us.” She sobs, burying her face in his feathers. “That's what it means, it's the purest form of love. Holder won't show it, but his daemon, she can't help it –”

“Let me talk to her then.” He says, “It doesn't have to be a bad thing.”

She supposes he is nearly always right. His opinion of it makes her feel calmer at least. She murmurs, “If you say so”, and releases him into the cold air, feeling every beat of his wings.

 

08\. _Heartbreak_

He figures there's never gonna be a good time to ask about the fiancé. He saw her face light up when she laid eyes on the guy, then fall when she realised he'd peaced out. He guesses she was glad to see him too, just not as much, and that stung. He wants to know what it's gonna take to make her look at him the same way. But his mind supplies the answer for him, _there's_ nothing _you can do_. She doesn't go for fuck-ups with no filter and a hazy spirituality thing.

“You didn't tell me he was your shrink.” He ventures, when he judges her guard's down enough.

“You think I'm gonna go nuts again?”

Sweet Christ, she's unreadable. That wasn't what he meant.

“No, I got your back is all I'm saying.” He says, then busts out something ridiculous in order to diffuse the tension; “Think of me as your sensei, in the blood sport of life.”

Yeah, it worked. She smiles, chuckles somewhat, takes a drag off her cigarette. _Linden_.

He's pleased he's at least able to cheer her up, capable of making her laugh. She moves some stuff for him to come sit beside her. Maybe she'll rest her head on his shoulder and he'll put his arm around her and...no, it's back to work. He put a curse on himself with the whole BFF thing. He isn't content with this, but in the meantime, he'll accept what he can get.

 

09\. _Leaving_

She doesn't need to say anything, getting out of the car. He knows she's going for good this time. It's unclear whether he expected it or not – he just looks put out, like he doesn't want it. _Sorry, Holder_ , she thinks. _I'm not staying, even for you_.

“Keep in touch”, he says, and maybe she will. She can't turn her back on him, waits till he's driven off in that piece of crap with the wheel trims missing to walk away.

When he's gone it feels like she's truly on her own. She doesn't have a place to go any more, she doesn't have Jack. If she'd _really_ wanted the new life for them in California, the last four weeks could've been the month that never was. She'd still have her son with her, she wouldn't have the Larsen case overshadowing her whole career.

Although, there are parts of it she'll miss. Most of all, Holder. Some things are always gonna haunt her, like his agonised cries in the reservation that night she couldn't do shit to help him. But mostly she'll remember him being flippant, in-your-face. Brave. And he was always on her side even though he had a funny way of showing it sometimes.

She doesn't suppose he'll notice her absence for long, if he learnt anything from her at all. He'll move up just fine if he decides to, and she's moving on. They were good, they had their moments, so. Best to leave it at that.

 

10\. _Punctual_

Liz used to say he'd be late for his own funeral, but he ain't made a habit of it with Linden. He's pushed other things aside for her at times, been there when she needed him, sometimes even before she'd showed herself. He's drawn towards her, like she's his own personal Polaris or something. Yeah – he has it for the boss lady, real bad.

Still, he's not up at sunrise and running like she is, fuck that. There's been a couple of instances he dozed past the alarm, stopped to get breakfast en route. This morning he was meant to meet her seven thirty but it's more like eight already. She checks her watch on him and starts walking.

“Want some?” He offers her, catching up. His strides are like, worth three of hers.

“Is it a triple swine vegetarian donut?” She asks, “'Cause if so, no thanks.”

He shrugs, and drops what's left back in the bag. “Are you mad at me cause I slept in five minutes?”

“Hmn. Try twenty.”

“See, I was having this dream about the case, and I was so close to solving it, and you were there, you didn't help out much though –“

“Just stop.” She sighs. “I'm not mad, okay? Just don't keep me waiting next time. I hate waiting.”

“Yeah, I _know_.” He says, but he falls back to follow her. She's the lead, he makes no bones about that now. He doesn't know exactly when the hostility he bore towards her at the beginning turned into respect, turned into this attachment, yet there it is. As long as she puts up with him to some degree, he's happy.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Title from Hold Me Close by Lucero.
> 
> Thanks a million to my beta-reader Lilysmum for all her input with this! She is a real sweetheart.


End file.
